I had all but forgotten about this group until hearing one of their songs in the movie "Edge of Seventeen" which I had just recently watched. The song was Smalltown Boy.
I remember the first time I saw the video, it was on Night Tracks (does anyone remember this?) It was a late Saturday night and I was probably the only one awake. I sat in front of the TV (like always) when it came on. I soon realized that it wasn't about a teenage runaway, but about a boy/young man struggling with his sexuality. Watching this I began to realized I was going through this in my life. I was struggling to find my own identity and figure out where I fit in. As I watched I saw how he was being treated by others and forced to leave home because he was gay. An overwhelming sense of sadness came over me as well as fear. I began to think that if I was gay, was this how I would be treated? I didn't want to be an outcast so I suppressed my feelings from myself and hid them from others around me. I remember thinking I'm 16 and it was only a faze, although I recall having these feelings since the age of 13. Hearing this song again reminded me of how awkward I was as a teenager. Struggling for years to find myself and never really feeling comfortable in my own skin. I struggled with my sexuality until my early 20's when I could finally be honest with myself.
Although this song reminds me of the tough time(s) I had earlier in life, I find the memories are more of a life lesson. Of my personal struggles I had, but learned from to become better person and the man that I am today.
